Boundaries

You can't have lived in America during this millennium and not realized that church leaders are quite capable of sin. Because clergy, youth workers, counselors etc. get invited into people's lives in ways that people in other professions do not, they have to be extra careful not to abuse that access. Sexual abuse might be the version of "boundary violations" the media picks up on, but it's not the only one that exists. Hence the day-long workshop we had yesterday.

If you're thinking of going into ministry, you need to be familiar with the document that candidates for ministry (i.e. seminarians) and leaders in the church alike live by: Vision and Expectations. Among other things, it says clergy should lead "chaste lives" that are "beyond reproach."

After yesterday, I'm beginning to understand why my old testament professor says commandments phrased in the negative (like our ten "thou shalt nots") are much easier to abide by than commandments phrased in the positive. Because there's some disagreement about what chaste living means, people have had their candidacy processes (and their careers, therefore) end for such things as vacationing with a fiancee and only renting one hotel room.

So here's a negative commandment for you to try on:

If you're a member of a church, for God's sake (and I do mean that), DON'T ask your pastor out on a date! She can't be your pastor and your boyfriend and maintain professional relationships with everyone else in the congregation.


Humorous post-script:
My nomination for best boundaries workshop song ... "Dangerous" by David Wilcox